


We Are Free and We Are Lost

by Eluvian



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Carl dies, Carl's Mansion, Comfort, Crushes, Determination, Fluff, M/M, Markus (Detroit: Become Human) Plays the Piano, Markus is supportive, Only it's Simon there instead of North, Other, Painting, Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Philosophy, References to Simon's past, Scene at the beginning of Freedom March, Simon has massive social anxiety (maybe it is an overstatement, Simon is bad at feelings, Simon is shy, Social Anxiety, but he really is quite nervous), doubts, kiss, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22479352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eluvian/pseuds/Eluvian
Summary: Simon is Markus' romantic interest instead of North. Some scenes which exist in the game, only differently, and some scenes which do not exist in the game.
Relationships: Carl Manfred & Markus, Carl Manfred & Simon, Markus & Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Markus/Simon (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	1. Need to think

**Author's Note:**

> I did not normally ship these two but I watched too many pictures and such, and Simon is really more loveable in my opinion than North, because he supports all peaceful actions, and I took the peaceful path. So I got this idea that that conversation could have taken plaace with Simon and a bit differently, and decided to put it down. xD
> 
> Also note/edit: I added "other" to the categories, because...  
> ...actually they are androids, not men. xDD  
> (My logic is undeniable.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon would like to have a chat with Markus, and after convincing himself it is not the worst idea on the world, he decides to initiate a conversation.  
> The scene where in the game normally North would talk to Markus.  
> Up with the nice view of the snowy city, Markus thinking and philosophising and playing the piano.  
> A bit more philosophising than in the game.

Androids did not need sleep but Markus felt like it would do him some good if he COULD sleep.

So he came out to think.

The sight was wonderful despite the fact that he was actually on top of a rusty old bar. It was deteriorating, slowly giving in to time, crumbling to dust. Just like those in Jericho seemed to be…

He had no idea why would someone have left a piano out in the open like that, but the instrument was there and it really did seem like a sign. At least an opportunity.

Just like before, he took it. He let his mind drift away, he played melodies that he remembered, that were inside his software for a long time, and then he improvised and put the sounds after one another to show what he felt. He did not believe anyone heart, though. But he himself did, and it felt good. It felt so free. It seemed pointless, after all, what use was a few soundwaves that filled the air right here, right now? But it had its effect exactly where it needed to. Inside him. It helped him heal, forget, think, see things that did not exist. Some of the sounds were green, some of them were blue, some of them talked about a meadow full of flowers and some of them showed an ocean of blood. Red and blue.

He tried to maintain the balance between these two. He created melodies that sounded like warm laughter next to fireplaces, glass buildings rising and peaceful people walking beside them, hopes in their hearts, food in their bellies and maybe smiles on their faces.

Utopia.

The thought that it was impossible annoyed him. He returned to the bloody ocean theme a little bit. It felt good to let go of his aggression, the feeling of helplessness. The sounds were a cry for help. But then, he realised, he needed no answer to them. He just needed to let them out. The answers were already inside.

He did not need blood. He could solve it otherwise.

_I hope._

Simon barely dared to venture to this place. He had never been here, North used to come here and the two of them didn’t really see eye to eye in most things (also, North liked to be left alone at those times). North used to be the leader. Simon did not have a loud voice. Even if he had ideas, he was afraid the others would not think it worthy to investigate or carry out.

Until Markus came around, who indeed had a loud voice. A voice which said things that Simon could more than agree with.

For minutes he’d been just standing in one place, calculating the possible outcomes of what might happen if whe went to talk to Markus, but he got no responsible result. He just brushed his hands through his hair and decided to go.

What could go wrong?

Except everything.

Nevermind. He can always turn back if he feels like he is disturbing Markus. Just excuse himself and turn back.

When he walked up, he saw Markus sitting on a wodden plank with who knows, how many feet under him and Simon's LED immediately turned red. For a moment.

‘Markus, I don’t mean to scare you, but maybe you should stop that, it’s really dangerous’, Simon said after long seconds of hesitation ( _If I talk, it WILL scare him, I have no right to correct him_ ), LED a strong yellow colour. He knew fine well what tricks Markus could do in the air and he never fell off anything unless he wanted to. So there was no reason to warn him.

But it seemed just too dangerous, also incredibly beautiful. Markus, the snow-covered city in the distance, the dim, yellowish light of the almost-winter sun, poetic as Markus himself.

Markus stood up lightly and walked back to the solid ground. Simon’s LED slowly turned back to light blue. Was there a slight smile on Markus’s face? If so, was it a condescending one? Simon was not sure.

‘I am careful, don’t worry.’

Silence. Simon had to break it.

‘You were playing the piano earlier.’ _Of course he did, he must remember doing it, you smartass._ ‘It was very beautiful.’ _At least something subjective._ _Though is it not impolite to listen to someone play the piano in kind of secret? Damn._

‘Thank you.’ Well, Markus obviously didn’t mind. ‘It’s something that makes me feel safe, like I’m at home again. Though I am not sure what home is anymore.’

Something about his past. Simon never knew what Markus was before becoming a Deviant. It was impolite to ask, in Jericho, they didn’t ask after a while. It hurt too much. Too many of them had committed things they weren’t proud of. Mainly killed when they became Deviant. It was a huge shock.

Markus did not know it was impolite to ask, that’s why he’d asked North. Simon had listened.

But it did not matter, Simon was curious now. Maybe… maybe after all this time it was free to talk about it.

‘I just… needed to think.’

‘I am sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to… I heard the music and-‘

Ever since Simon left the humans he’d served, it became more and more difficult to communicate. He started to experience things he never did before. It was difficult to put them into words. Deviannts were aimless, or rather they had to find their own aims, and without being told what to do, he felt lost. So lost. Nobody told him what he should do up here, it was his own decision to come here.

‘You don’t disturb me.’

A smile.

Simon’s LED flickered in yellow and then blue. He calmed down. A little.

Actually Markus felt a little grateful that his lonely miutes have been interrupted. The secret happiness of somebody having heard his music felt warm as sunlight.

He could feel so much more, as if deviancy changed whim wholly, physically as well. Or maybe he just imagined that he felt sunlight, because he’d read so much about what humans feel in places like this. He did not care, it felt real, in his mind.

Markus wandered around the place as if it was his own. And of course, who else would own it? Simon just envied him a little. Markus was more confident than Simon had ever felt.

Although now even Markus seemed a little lost.

‘I also have to… thank you. For saving me, back then.’

Simon had a whole plan in his mind. If they got him, he would hide until there was a chance of escaping. And if there wasn’t, if they got him, then… he would end it before they can lay their hands on him and get any information.

He had to find a purpose. So he found his purpose in saving Jericho and protecting its people in every way he could.

But it felt good that Markus came back for him and put effort into dragging him out of that place. Putting himself in danger.

North wouldn’t have done that, Simon was sure.

North was… somehow… cold. Logical. Simon thought that’s how androids were supposed to be, but he couldn’t help that he was different. He did not know what it meant to be an android anymore, he just went on with what his software allowed him. And it allowed more and more, strange things, weird things.

‘There’s no need to thank me’, Markus smiled. _Yes, there is._ ‘It is natural that we save our own people.’

His words were quick, and he avoided Simon’s gaze, his eyes drifting off into the distance.

‘It may be natural for you, but not everyone’, Simon added, in every second considering that he might just turn back and leave the leader to his thoughts. ‘You know, I think after what we did, maybe… maybe the humans will see what we really want.’

He tried to sound optimistic. He also wanted to know what Markus thought. He wanted to hear words of hope.

‘It would be good if they saw it. But they don’t really seem to. The problem is that most deviants use violence when they escape. When we open our eyes, it is the first thing we do. We kill.’

Markus realised his voice became too harsh, as well as the topic. He closed his eyes.

‘I am sorry.’

Simon’s LED was yellow. ‘It is true. But I think that’s because they are so… hurt. Stressed. We… we don’t really talk about it. What it was like to… to change, you know. But from what I’ve seen it is a shock they cannot bear.’

Millions of different impulses experienced in a nanosecond, thoughts that were not part of the original programme, unknown patterns, no one to control you anymore.

Lost in a huge and chaotic world which seems to have betrayed to the moment you were created.

You realise you were created to serve. You look like those you serve but they were… born. They are warm and they hug each other and they age, they bleed, but you are like the brainless machine that they use. Why do you look like a human then? Why CAN you feel, if you are not supposed to? Why?

Simon got lost in his memories. He had to play back what Markus said because he was not paying full attention.

‘It is true. But still, if we do that, we are no better than aggressive humans. And humans don’t like aggressive humans, why should they like us then?’

It sounded like a question that requires no answer, or the answer is already obvious. Simon did not know what was the name for it, but he thought it is a thing humans usually use. Markus used it quite often in his speeches.

It felt like the answer would be ‘Yes.’ Although even Simon knew that was not syntactically correct, even though domestic androids did not have the most detailed grammatical setting.

‘If we show them we are not violent, maybe they will understand. We have been doing good so far. The reports, the public media… they seem to be supportive. At least some of them.’

Markus looked into Simon’s bright blue eyes and wanted it to be true.

He was so afraid many of his people would die because the humans just won’t understand anything. He didn’t want them to suffer. He’d been promising them freedom, but it felt a little bit like lying to them. Because he could not guarantee that freedom. They were needed to achieve the freedom of the people, but many individuals might be lost during the process.

Markus sat down on a very old chair that was also just left there, just like the piano. It really felt like home. An abandoned home, being destroyed by time.

‘I really hope so. But even if there are losses, we must keep on going, otherwise it will be all in vain.’

Human history contained millions of examples of the community placed over individuals. Many had taken this sacrifice. Yet it was not an easy decision to make, ever.

‘Listen, Simon, if anything happens to any of you, you need to know that I am sorry.’

He did not plan to sound so gloomy, but if he had a chance to say this, there was no reason to avoid it. He captured Simon’s gaze again and saw his LED turn red, then yellow.

Simon turned his face away so that it was not visible. He looked confused. Ashamed?

Simon had not taken that thing out because he felt it difficult to distinguish what other Deviants felt, and he thought that others might be experiencing the same. So he thought these colours would help them communicate.

He was right. But now he was ashamed of what the colours were communicating.

‘It is not a problem. I would gladly give my life for you. And for Jericho.’

‘I will do everything to keep you alive’, Markus said.

‘You mean me, or everyone in… Nevermind.’

Simon saw Markus smile, from the corner of his eyes, yet he did not dare look up.

‘I will save everyone I can.’

This was not the answer, Simon felt, but did not insist any more.

‘You know’, Markus started ‘this is what I do not understand. You follow me without question. So do all the androids that I have freed. This power feels good… yet intimidating.’

‘Well, I can’t speak for the others, but… You have brought change. Before you, there was no hope of us getting anywhere. We were alive, but… no. We were only… existing there. You were right when you said we were just sitting in the dark waiting to die.’

A smile appeared on Markus’ face, an amused smile. ‘Yes, I noticed that. Good to know I was not the only one to find that strange.’

‘You weren’t. It’s just... we were afraid. To go out. Finally we had a shelter, a place where we weren’t bothered, but we didn’t have the… courage to come out. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t arrived.’

Simon remembered that day often. Markus, falling from the sky and suddenly everyone realizing there was more to life than dying. Finally someone to tell them that they only had to move just a little to achieve what they wanted. They just had to work together to get those spare parts. It was not difficult. And after that, just a few days had to pass and they could infiltrate a tower and get out alive.

Well, it was close. But they got out alive.

‘It could have happened that SOME of you gets the idea and courage to do what I did. Maybe you, Simon, maybe someone else.’

‘Oh no, I… I wouldn’t-‘ He would not be able to do that, if North said no, she said no and there was no way of objecting.

Or at least Simon had thought there was none. It turned out he hadn’t known everything.

‘We can never know now. But there will be other chances to prove yourself, Simon. If that’s what you wish to do.’

Simon clearly had more potential in him than it could be seen at first glance, Markus realized. He was just too afraid to share it.

Markus wanted to change that. Good ideas deserved to be shared. And those who had them deserved to be heard.

‘I will try’, Simon said, sounding less confident than he actually felt.

‘Is something bothering you?’, Markus asked. Something evidently was.

‘It’s not… bothering me. Just… you haven’t talked much about yourself since you’ve been here. I grew a little curious. But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to’, Simon added, defensively.

‘Oh.’ Markus sounded a bit surprised, but pleased. He stood up and started pacing slowly. ‘I was caring of an old man. He was like a father to me.’

Simon’s LED turned red for a moment, as he remembered his own family, and realized he started thinking the same things. But no, HE was not like a father to him. He was just an owner. The blond android envied Markus. Again. He did not want to, but he could not stop it.

‘He showed me that androids and humans can live together.’

‘You are lucky. It would be nice if all humans were like him and all androids would be like you.’

‘That would be kind of boring, wouldn’t it?’, Markus smiled and Simon immediately regretted what he said.

‘That’s not what I meant…’

‘I know. I’m just joking.’

Markus didn’t know he could do that until only recently.

‘Oh. So you don’t think that I think… nevermind. I can’t seem to be able to put together sentences correctly.’ Simon felt more stressed than when he was being shot at by enemies and they had to escape and jump down from a high building with a parachute. He covered his face with his hands. ‘You are special. It’s just. I mean.’ _You can do this. Slowly. You can form sentences, your software is working_ , Simon tried to convince himself. ‘If people were as accepting as your human-‘

‘I get it, Simon.’

‘Good.’ _Thank you. Then I do not need to trouble myself much further._

‘He showed me all I can, basically. He taught me to play the piano, he showed me books…’ Markus went on.

Simon was so grateful that the topic has been changed. Also he got what he wanted, more information. He tried to listen to Markus instead of his own crazy fear and worries.

‘Sometimes I think Carl _wanted_ me to become Deviant. He told me that I should not be told what to do.’

‘Wow’, Simon honestly said. ‘No usual human does that.’

‘Yes’, Markus admitted, nodding. He was sorry that other androids had to suffer so much, unlike him. Really, if everyone was given as much as he was given by Carl… the world would’ve been a different place.

Though had they all had to suffer?

‘You did not talk about yourself either.’ Markus pointed out, turning back towards Simon.

Simon did not expect the attention to be turned to himself so quick.

‘When you were talking about becoming Deviant, you said ‘they’ usually kill at first. So… you haven’t… killed anyone when you escaped?’

‘No, I… I did not. I just… sneaked out. Walked away.’ Simon’s memory drifted back. The image of the house, the faces of the two people that meant his world for a while.

_Well then._

‘Uhm, I… I was with a family. Two people. They were married. Their names were Elena and Peter, Elena… I think she liked me having around, but Peter did not want an android anyway. They kept arguing about me, Peter said I was useless, because Elena and him could do the work around the house anyway. Elena was angry at Peter, she said she had better things to do than housework, so it would be better if an android took care of them. They thought I did not hear them, but I was listening, I knew it was bad, but I was curious. And many times, when Peter realised I heard what they were talking about, he got more and more angry. And I thought… they would all be happy if I just left.’

Empathy in the blue and the green eye.

Simon shrugged, which wanted to mean “it is not important” as well as “thank you for listening to me”. 

‘I can do more here than I did there, I think. I started to think about it only later. I only did stuff that had to be redone every day. It did not change anything. Just repeating the same thing over and over. Now I understand why Elena did not want to do these jobs. They really are tedious. But that was my job, so I feel a little guilty about leaving…’

Simon realised how long he had been speaking.

But Markus watched him with a concerned gaze.

‘They probably manage on their own. If they didn’t want you, then you should not be here.’

‘Yeah. And I’m finally surrounded with people who actually find me useful. I can do things that matter. I mean. Surely humans need food, so it needs to be done, and their clothes need to be in order...’

They called it guilt, what Simon was feeling now.

An avoided task. It felt bad. But he was done with his old life. Even though sometimes it came back to him, with the urge of putting things into order, to make at least some parts of this rusty ship clean. It was a useless mission though, nobody cared about these things. It seemed as if only humans needed things to be clean around them.

Sometimes he thought he could never get rid of what he was before.

Because… at least that was certain. What was he now?

Unsure. That was what he was.

‘Sorry to bother you. I should not be thinking about it. Obviously you have more important things to do.’

Simon was withdrawing and Markus felt that, but he did not want to let him go off just as easily. Simon was only a few steps away, so he could easily catch up with him and quickly place a hand on his upper arm as the blond man already turned his back on him and was walking away.

‘Simon, wait.’ His voice was smooth, yet determined.

_Why on Earth is he so shy?_

Simon stopped not because his leader told him to, but because he was curious what he would say. He wanted to be told that it would be alright. That he had made the right decision. That he was performing his tasks perfectly. Even though he was not sure what his tasks were yet. Simon wanted to be comforted. And motivated. That’s what he always got from Markus.

Simon turned around slowly. Markus softly placed his hands on Simon’s upper arms and looked deeply into his eyes.

‘You aren’t bothering me. And you should not feel guilty about them. If you want… when it is over, we can go back to them.’

Markus surely wanted to see Carl again. He had so much to say to him, he had to thank him for everything. And maybe it would help Simon to face those humans. Maybe it would hurt, but still be helpful eventually. But for that, they needed to survive that long.

‘You can go see them. But you don’t have to and if they don’t want to see you, you don’t have to be scared. You will always have a place here.’

 _Thank you. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,_ Simon thought, smiling softly. He felt the urge to step forward, close the gap between them, place his hands around Markus and rest his head on his shoulders, but the wall that was stopping him from doing it seemed stronger than the one he broke when he decided to leave his house and became a Deviant.

He didn’t think such walls existed anymore, but they did.

But he knew somehow he could break them. He just needed more time.

For now, he only kept his gaze from wandering to his feet and escaping the other one’s gaze.

‘Thank you. I better go now.’

To do what, exactly?

He did not know. Think.

‘Alright. I will leave shortly. Just a few more minutes here…’ Markus said as if he had to aslk for permission to be here.

Simon slowly walked away, looking back over his shoulder a few times. He heard a few notes from the piano again, and he slowed down his movement to listen to it for a while, smiling.


	2. Make Love Not War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus notices that Simon has been avoiding him. He means to find out why.
> 
> Simon is afraid to lose Markus so he tries to cut the connections so that he does not get too attached. He knows it is a lost cause, but he tries anyway.

_"First day of love never comes back_

_A passionate hour is never a wasted one"_

_\- Nightwish, While Your Lips Are Still Red_

The days felt longer. Markus had no idea what it would feel like to sleep, but he was sure that it made it easier for humans to be patient. While sleeping, they usually did not know anything about the world around them. It felt quicker.

Markus was impatient. Also he was scared of what might come. Deaths, he knew, lots of them. As much as he wanted to avoid it, there would be no way that all of them survive. Thinking about this did not make planning easier. It did not make it easier to stand up to them and tell them they could solve everything together.

Doubts. They were watching from every corner.

The crew made it easier, of course. They grew to accept him, but lately even that did not go without complications.

North and Josh were the same as before, helping Markus with the practical things, North always a little scornful about not attacking humans right away, but after a while she accepted that it was his way and she learned to support it. They looked more hopeful, enthusiastic.

But Simon…

He seemed different.

Accepting everything without question, but also without motivation. He did not question anything that Markus said. He did everything Markus asked of him. He avoided Markus’s eyes and jumped at the first opportunity to occupy himself with _anything_ that could be considered useful. He had found lots of things to do in his free time, of which he had many.

But earlier, he’d liked to talk. Now it was out of the question. Simon managed to do it without being noticed, though. He seemed like a well-meaning, hardworking person, which he had been previously, the others must not have noticed that something changed.

Markus was not sure that it was true, but he felt like it. He missed the Simon who would approach him and come up with something that he thought was unimportant, illogical or just not something to bother Markus with, but later it turned out to be a perfect conversation topic. Because Markus loved to talk about things, especially things that were not the concern of life and death, he was grateful when the topic diverted to something else.

Like Simon himself.

Markus thought back to their last conversation a lot, trying to find the mistake that he’d made, he thought that maybe he’d pushed Simon too strong and Simon had said something he did not want to.

There was only one way to find out.

Simon was often like a shell that needed to be approached carefully, but this time he had to make the first step…

Well, he did not _have_ to. His primary aims did not depend on the status of their relationship. But Deviants had a thing like _want_ , it was the easiest to call it that, and Markus often followed this urge. So far it had not led him to anything bad.

Looking around the ship, at first glance the blond android was nowhere to be seen.

Next step, ask someone. His eyes quickly spotted North.

_Not her._

The unspoken conflict between Simon and North could not be ignored. Markus felt it better to ask Josh instead.

‘Have you seen Simon?’

Josh pointed toward a mostly abandoned section of the ship. It was so dark and rusty that even Jericho androids did not inhabit it.

‘I think that’s where he went. He said he’d clean the place up.’

_Sounds like Simon._

Simon liked to clean things up. It must have stayed with him from his domestic android status. He was really good at it too. They all struggled to find their identities here, and for most it meant straying far away from what they’ve been doing while serving humans. But some parts were not bad if they remained. Simon’s job was to tidy things up, which was useful even now, if somebody had a sense for aesthetics, which Markus did. Markus had been taking care of a person, he liked taking care of people now

‘Thank you.’

Markus waved with his hand and left, leaving no explanation as to why he wanted to see Simon. He did not need to explain himself, if they wanted to ask, they would, wouldn’t they?

***

Simon was lost in organising. He transferred the useless parts he found to one place, and then to another place, and tried to suppress the thought that if the Jericho people had been living fine like this, they would not need cleaner places after, either.

He wanted to tell everyone that if Markus asked to speak with him, they should tell him he is busy. Simon did not admit it to himself that he wanted to be left alone.

_I have no right to be left alone. Do I?_

He did not know who he was anymore.

Tidying things, it calmed him. Even though nobody said he should do it. Being lost, this is how he found a new purpose. Or at least blinded himself from seeing the real one.

Footsteps.

His hands stopped in the air.

He learned to figure out who it was from their footsteps. Earlier it was only 2 people he had to distinguish, now it was more, but he learned it quickly nevertheless.

Anyways, it was not difficult to find out who would be looking for him. Simon hasn’t spoken to anyone in the last… many hours. Firstly he tried to settle his thoughts, then, when he found no solution, he decided to silence them.

His LED flickered in yellow once, then he turned it back to light blue, forcing himself to remain calm, like he did when people were arguing around him and rationally there was nothing he could do. He realised he had no task there, so he remained calm.

‘Simon?’

A familiar voice. A permission. The owner of the voice stopped a few feet away from him. Markus was so polite. Simon wished he could show his gratitude. But it was not allowed. He did not allow it to himself.

‘Yes?’

Neutral. He turned around, expression clear and blank, blue eyes raised to Markus’s face from under slightly raised eyebrows – a symbol of interest.

_What does he want to say? Does he have a task for me? Has something happened?_

Simon ignored the thoughts.

Markus thought of the approaches. Question him straight away? Considering how humans would react, the answer could very well be an evasion and he’d find out nothing. He could have lied to Simon by formulating a question that does not cover his true intentions, but – Markus never lied. It was not a question of life and death, so he did not wish to break this habit now.

He glanced around the place.

‘What are you doing here?’, Markus asked eventually, lightly.

‘I, uh… I’m just putting things into order.’

_I’m just running away from you, don’t bother._

‘Is it necessary to finish it now, or you have a little time?’

‘Time for what?’

‘I just wanted to talk to you.’

There. He said it. There was no other way. Why did he feel so awkward about it now? Insecurity. Markus did not know when and where he messed up. There was something though, for sure, that Simon was not telling him.

‘Look, Simon, if you are worried about something, if you have any concerns, you can tell me. I understand if you are scared of the days to come. I think we all are. _I_ am scared.’

Markus took a small step forward while speaking. He wanted to be close to Simon, but not so close as to scare him off.

Simon stared at the ground, avoiding the empathy in the light green and blue eyes.

_Can I tell you? Really? You would not agree with me._

But he had nowhere to run from this, so he started speaking. His LED could not maintain the light blue colour anymore, it was yellow.

‘I… I might be scared, yes. Sometimes I just… think that… maybe this is not what we should do. Maybe we should just be happy with what we have. Our lives. We could get out of here, find a route, plan it, and go as far away as we can. To be safe. B-but maybe I am just a coward. I’m sorry to bother you with this.’

Markus remembered standing in front of the crowd of humans with guns pointed at them, more and more of them falling as the bullets killed them. North wanted to attack, Josh wanted to stay there and Simon wanted to run.

He understood all of them. He felt the anger that was needed to march forward no matter what and start killing everyone until he could move. He felt the desperation to turn around and leave the whole cause to rot and all the androids to find their own way for escaping their prisons, in any way they can. But he was not selfish enough for this.

He never knew whether he’d made the right decision or not. It was just chance that the bullets did not hurt Simon. He could have died there. And he can die in the next mission as well.

Unless…

‘I will not despise anyone who would like to leave. Your lives are at risk and I took the right to lead you to what might mean your death.’

_Are you really giving me the possibility to leave?_

The problem was that Simon indeed considered it for a moment. _How can I be such a coward? He deserves better. Maybe I should leave because I could not fulfil my task anyway…_

‘Simon, it’s alright. Go and find a peaceful life that you deserve. Don’t care about what others think.’

 _Are you sending me away?_ , a thought appeared. _No, he wants me to stay alive…_

_No, I can’t. I could not live with myself like that. Why is he saying this? This way everyone could leave. Then everything we did was for nothing. I cannot leave now._

Also…

‘I did not mean _I_ want to leave. I meant all of us. If I leave, that would not help you stay alive.’

_There, I said it._

Simon did not look up.

‘Oh.’ Markus blinked, surprised. These few words made him unreasonably content. This sounded like the Simon he knew. ‘You worry about me?’

‘Yes… of course I worry about you. In a revolutionary group it is usually the leaders who are in the greatest danger. These humans don’t understand us, to them you are just an enemy, something that will destroy their society.’

Not that he knew much about society. He did housework and watched humans argue and sometimes comfort each other. He heard them speaking hatefully and kindly of his kind.

‘You can die at any moment, Markus, and I wanted to avoid that.’

‘You could have told me.’

‘Telling you means speaking to you, and speaking to you means more and more-‘

What was the word. He panicked. He did not know what to say.

_Coward._

_I am sorry. I am sorry. Just leave me alone._

Simon had seen humans shake and pace in the room, tears rolling down their faces, it seemed to have calmed them. But closed in this body he had no way to calm down. He no longer had a control over his software. He wanted to be able to cry, but the only thing he could do is stand in one place and wait for the time to pass and some miracle to happen.

But miracles did not happen. You had to act if you wanted to achieve something, and that is what he was always too scared to do.

He hated himself. Again. Still. Always.

‘Simon, even if I died, the time I spent here would make it all worthwhile. You must see what you have achieved, not what you have lost.’

Easy to say.

_Yeah, but if you died, I would be alone again._

Well, not literally alone. But without something important without which he could not imagine living.

Markus walked closer. Simon did not move an inch.

Markus continued.

‘You think I am not afraid of losing you? Every day?

  
Simon felt a pang of guilt. _Yes, and you’d even send me away. I am important to you._ The thought was comforting. Although he did not understand why. He wanted to cling to it as long as he could. He did not want to lose the only person who found him important.

_That is ungrateful. The others find me important too. They just… don’t show it._

Simon felt Markus’ gaze all over him, but he still did not dare look up. He felt trapped, but with every word his leader said his worries felt less and less crucial. They just faded away slowly. Even if he talked about death his voice was so calming. Simon was pretty sure that their programming did not include finding other programmed voices appealing or calming. Deviancy was strange, again. It brought unexplainable things with itself.

‘I just… we could avoid… all this death. But I know, we have to care about the others. We can’t just run away. Please don’t… tell the others I said that. I know I am a coward, I don’t need them calling me that. I could not really do it, you know. Unless, of course, everybody agreed. Which they won’t.’

‘It does not make you a coward.’

‘It doesn’t?’

‘No. We only learned what it is to be alive, it is certain that we do not want to lose it.’

_I am worried for your life, not mine._

‘After this is all over, the world will be ours. We won’t have to fight for our lives. We can find out what we like and how and where we want to live.’

Simon looked up. Perspectives. Future. He never dared think about it. Life _after_ the revolution was so vague that it basically did not exist in his mind. He could not imagine what would happen.

His LED turned back to blue without him realising.

Listening to Markus always calmed him. Of course his words also inspired him, gave him hope. Pulled him out of his desperation. But all this would shatter if he died. He could not shove it away every time. He could not _not_ care.

‘It sounds beautiful. Although I have no idea what I would like to do.’

‘You will find out. I know of a few things humans do when they do not have any obligations. They are capable of beautiful things. Carl, the man I was looking out for once allowed me to make a painting. I did it differently than him, of course. Sometimes the things that seem to make no sense are the most beautiful.’

Simon would have loved to listen to it for hours, or rather do these activities, but he could not help thinking it was only a dream.

‘And how do you do it? How do you _not_ think about that it could all fall into pieces?’

_I’m starting to sound like you._

‘I don’t know, Simon.’

 _Oh?_ It was weird to hear Markus say he did not know something.

‘I just try to focus on my plans and if I can, find them around me. Focus on the present, not the future. The hope I see in your eyes and not the thought of losing you.’

This language was very confusing with its pronouns.

Simon looked up, wondering whether that “you” was him, or all the others.

He looked up at Markus and all he could feel was support. That he did not need to be afraid. He knew that if he thought for one moment longer, his determination would cease, so he grabbed it when it appeared for one quick moment and took a step forward, reaching out with his hands and putting them around Markus’s neck, leaning into a hug. Deep inside he knew he would not be rejected, but it did not silence his worries. The arms around his body did, one second later.

His mind was in deep silence, yet beautiful silence, because he had never felt so calm. He closed his eyes and tried not to think of the time that now seemed so fast, even though minutes ago he didn’t want anything else than for the time to move forward quickly.

They rested their heads on each other’s shoulders, knowing there would be no one to disturb them. Then Markus softly freed one of his hands. Simon blinked up curiously as Markus reached down for his hand. His eyes were still open when their hands touched, but there was no need to use them, for the sudden flow of information blinded him from everything else.

Simon felt how Markus wanted to protect him, his pride from Simon’s words when he said he did not want him to die. Markus found it ironic, both of them, struggling to keep the other one alive and trying to hide their feelings about it. Markus had been waiting for long for a moment when these thoughts could not be kept hidden any more.

Simon grabbed Markus’s hand strongly. He did not intend to do it, he did not even realise it.

Simon felt Markus’s fear when they were facing the guns, the pain when the others were shot, the desperation, the urge to run, the urge to split into a thousand pieces because everybody wanted something different and Markus wanted what was best for everybody. Simon heard his own voice when he said they should turn back. _Coward._

He felt Markus’ determination to keep them alive. His thoughts revolved around the whole group, but focussed on him. Simon saw his own eyes reflected a thousand times. Doubts, questions, very much like his own.

Markus saw the desperation of the one he was holding in his arms, lost, unsure, shaking like a butterfly. Simon’s memories, his speeches replayed over and over, fear and hope and affection he’d never seen before. Seeking who he was. Fleeing. Hiding. Trying to shut down whatever it was in his software that made him feel empathy. That was why Simon had been avoiding him. Trying to be cold and obedient and distant. To protect himself.

Markus was happy to have broken that.

Now Simon did not want to escape. He wanted to remain like this forever.

Until he did not know which emotion was his own and which one he saw in the mirror of the soul against him.

Overwhelmed. Too open and thus too insecure. Nobody ever saw him like this. Without any boundaries, any secrets, just his memories, he himself spreading through the electric connection of their skin.

The panic rose up in him without him even seeing it. The only thing he sensed was that he suddenly pushed Markus away and pulled his hand away from his, bracing himself, taking a few steps back.

Shocked, he quickly redefined the world around him. He glanced around. He did not know why, but he felt he needed to escape. The words and images echoed in his mind, he could not escape them even though the connection was gone.

It was gone. He felt empty now. He wanted it back. But at the same time he wanted to hide somewhere nobody could see him.

Markus was patient. He planned to wait until Simon calmed down, he himself a little bit amazed by the rush of information they just shared. It was special and he wanted more. But this time he wanted to avoid Simon running away. Markus knew he did not want to. Not really.

Seeing him this scared after knowing exactly how Simon felt about him was controversial. Markus felt a bit sorry for him, as keeping Simon in his presence was like torture for him. But a sweet one. And it just made him want to protect Simon even more. Pull him closer and never let go, no matter how much the blond pretended that he did not want this, did not deserve this or any other nonsense.

Nonsense, it was.

_Just come closer, for once. Don’t run away._

Their eyes met. Simon was sorry, Markus could tell. Hesitating.

‘Since we are so fatalistic, there is something I’ve always wanted to try’, he said softly.

Simon blinked. ‘What is it?’

‘We need to be close.’

_Oh…kay._

Simon tried to suppress his shame. He was not really sure if it _was_ shame. But it was a wall that did not let him move. Markus did not move either, so there was only one way they could get closer.

He experienced something similar than the time he decided to leave his family. Breaking the rules, breaking what he was used to, what he was supposed to do. Acting against what seemed rational and logical.

He took a step forward.

He looked at Markus. So calm and patient. Simon envied him. He took another step.

‘More’, Markus said, smiling. There was no reason to be scared. No reason. At all. Simon stepped forward, staring at the ground, looking at their feet, only a few inches away from each other. Markus’ hand touched his chin and raised it up so that Simon had to look at him. He did not object, he got lost in the green and blue eyes for a moment. He never knew which one to look at, they were in such harmony, the two colours, even though they were a reminder of all the hurt Markus had suffered.

Markus leant forward so that their noses touched. Simon started to realise what the plan was.

He closed his eyes.

Markus’s lips slowly touched his. First he did not move, accommodating himself to the strange sensation he’d never felt before. Then he moved his lips slowly, still careful not to scare Simon.

Simon knew what this meant. He’d seen people doing this, although he did not think Elena and Peter, the couple whose domestic android he used to be, felt such affection for each other. He loved how Markus shared this with him. He wanted to see everything he has ever seen, and more.

Simon reached for Markus’ hand, this time knowing what to expect. The fingers opened up to his, welcomingly, pulling him closer. He was not scared anymore. Entangled. Safe. Cared for. Content. Happy. Peaceful.


	3. Alarm Deactivated: Welcome Home, Simon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus takes Simon to visit Carl in his mansion.  
> Simon likes the place. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The painting I am talking about is the identity - doubts one :)

It was strange to use public transportation this way. Markus remembered this route – he had travelled it a few hundred times. Always standing at the back of the bus, among expressionless human-looking products who did not even think about why they had to stand there.

Not that he grew tired and had to sit down like humans did. Still, at least now they could stand among them.

Markus had gotten used to being recognized. Even now he saw that all the humans around him threw him a glance. Some of them were frightened, some in awe, some just curious. Many people had come to talk to him and ask him about the past events. It was similar to being a star, only he didn’t have to sing or dance for it, but something completely different… He was used to being considered a star by his own people, but not by humans.

Suddenly so many of them _didn’t_ hate androids.

Public opinion was strange. It felt like pretence on their part, but he usually answered their questions nevertheless. There were still groups that hated him. For some reason it felt calming, he was so used to that.

Simon kept staring at his feet while standing next to him. The thought that no one was going to ambush them now still felt strange, also, they had been stopped by at least two humans on their journey to Carl’s mansion, not counting the two bright blue-eyed children who stared at them.

But they did the same with humans, right? Children. They stared at everything.

Everyone kept interviewing Markus. Simon wanted some alone-time with him. No questions. Markus belonged to him as well, why did everyone think they had the right to take his time?

But they had something that humans did not, and they were very lucky for that. They could talk without opening their mouths, and without anyone else having to hear them.

_“Don’t worry, we are not far.”_

The data streams strangely resembled Markus’s voice in Simons’ mind.

_“I know. It annoys me that it annoys me.”_

_“You will get used to it.”_

_“I wish I could know what is in their minds as well as I know what’s in yours. I mean. I don’t want it that much, but-“_ Simon’s LED turned red for a second.

Markus smiled. _“It’s alright. They are probably staring at our LED and because I am who I am. Pretty much everyone in Detroit knows my face by now.”_

Markus was not sure how he felt about that. But at least he had the possibility to disappear when he wanted to. There were several places. Carl’s mansion among them. There, he would always be welcome.

He wondered with pain what would become of the house when Carl is gone.

Because he would be, soon. Not only because of his medical condition was it inevitable, but only because he was nearing the end of his lifespan.

Markus hoped Leo indeed became a better person and that he would stop taking drugs, to be able to take care of his father’s inheritance.

 _“Or”_ , Markus continued _“they are staring because we are holding hands.”_

 _“Oh.”_ Simon immediately let go of his partner’s hands. The lack of touch was painful, but their connection was still there. _“Because we both look like males, right?”_

_“I should think so.”_

_“Don’t you think Carl will… have… problems with that? Don’t you think he will react badly?”_

_“No, he’s not like that.”_ Markus assured him. He barely met a human who was more open-minded than Carl. _“He always understood me. He understood so many things that others didn’t.”_

A small thought returned to his mind. _I don’t want to lose him._

In his brief life he had learned fine well what loss was. Whether there was logic behind it or not, it was a negative feeling and everyone did their best to avoid it. Markus often wondered how androids could develop such affections, but he always remembered Carl’s words about humans not understanding emotions either.

If androids were created by humans and even humans did not understand emotions, what was his chance of understanding them?

He decided to just live them, until he found out about that. Maybe he’d never find out, but he let that be the biggest problem.

Markus could feel that Simon was still worried, but one of his reassuring smiles was enough to calm the blond one.

And, after a few minutes, they reached their destination.

Simon was curious. Markus had talked about how detailed and beautiful the mansion was, but as they approached, and he first saw the building, he realised that words were not enough to describe it, no matter how well Markus could use words. This home was so different than the one Simon had lived in. That was much smaller. Much less historical. And much less surrounded by beautiful plants and flowers.

Markus saw Simon's glance towards the back garden before they entered the house.

_We can discover everything when I have introduced you._

Simon's LED turned yellow for a moment. He quickly adjusted it back to blue.

The door opened. Two large brown wings opening to a different world.

"Alarm deactivated. Welcome home, Markus", the familiar synthetic female voice greeted Markus. He liked to hear it. He was surprised to hear it when he first returned to Carl's mansion. Carl did not delete this message even now. _He is expecting me._ Markus was grateful.

Simon opened his eyes wider as his eyes quickly scanned his surroundings. There were so many objects. Colours, shapes, tiny details everywhere. It must not have been easy to keep order here.

Something clittered in the corner. Two small, yellow birds in a cage.

"There is another android taking care of Carl now", Markus informed Simon, with a little guilt in his voice. Of course it was not his own fault that he had to leave Carl, nevertheless he felt sorry for it.The old man needed someone to care for him.

"Oh." Simon kept looking at the birds. Markus smiled.

"Carl's new caretaker must have activated them."

Markus opened another door and Simon immediately recognized the room they got in. Dining table. Books. Lots of books. Simon hadn't seen any human keep so many books before. Paper books were so rare that the amount of them here particularly made this place a museum.

Something was different though. A figure, sitting at the chessboard, hands drifting across the board quickly, putting the figures from one place to another with android speed. Male features, dark brown, almost black hair, bright blue LED on the right side of his face.

Last time Markus saw this android, he was just standing in front of Carl's door. Markus couldn't help but smile.

"Hello."

"Welcome', the android greeted them, and stood up from the board.

"I see you have found something to pass the time with", Markus noted.

"Yes, there are several things to do around here." The caretaker scanned Simon's face and quickly learned who he was.

"I am sorry, last time I didn't ask. What's your name?", Markus asked.

"I'm Aiden."

"Glad to meet you. Thank you for taking care of Carl."

Yes, it used to be his task. But now he was free to do whatever he wished, and yet Aiden remained.

"And thank you for setting us free", Aiden smiled, and Simon could not help but smile too, with a proud glance at the blue-green eyed one next to him. But Aiden also looked at _him_. H'de thanked both of them.

"Now I shall go and prepare some food for Carl", Aiden announced.

"May we look around?", Simon asked.

"Of course."

Aiden trusted Markus, he had no doubts that neither of them would cause any harm in the mansion.

Simon looked around again, when Aiden left.

"Wow..."

Markus smiled. "When I first got here, this place felt natural. Only later did I understand how special it was."

If Markus had an LED now, it would have turned yellow due to the images of the junkyard that he suddenly remembered. Yes. The outside world was different. Here, it was so peaceful, beautiful, a bubble of culture that so few humans understood.

"The books Carl has here could have spoken instead of me. About the revolution."

Simon quickly read through some of the titles. He did not have data about them. Suddenly he felt envious of Markus, who had gathered all this knowledge previously. He must have known so much...

"Well, they did speak instead of you. They taught you what you said, didn't they?", Simon asked.

"They, and Carl. He taught me as well."

Again, the jealousy. Simon did not want to feel jealous, but to imagine that this place belonged to someone... That it was the home, the origin, the first place that he lived in...

But then again, how horrible it could have been to face the persecution and Jericho's darkness afterwards.

"I am going to turn Jericho into something similar", Markus said, synchronizing with Simon's thoughts. The blond android walked by the chessboard. Markus played back all his memories of playing chess with Carl.

And then Simon saw the piano.

He remembered the sound of it when he stopped and listened to it at that abandoned bar.

Markus walked there and pressed a few keys. It felt as if the world changed then. Sounds put a filter on it, they made everything look different. The sound of the piano belonged to the furniture now, belonged to the sunlight, belonged to them.

When Markus stopped, Simon felt suddenly cold and abandoned.

"Continue, please."

Markus smiled and quickly improvised a calm, yet hopeful tone. He felt content as the music came to life under his fingers. He felt the impact on the world as much as when giving speech. But this time he did not have any responsibilities, despite making Simon content as well, but that was not a difficult job for him.

Simon walked closer to express his gratitude and placed his fingers softly on Markus's shoulders, not to distract him from playing, just to tell him he was close.

After Markus finished playing the piano, he detected that Simon felt disturbed, for some reason. He stopped in the middle of the room and did not take a step further.

"I feel like... I should not be here. This is not my place, I have no right to just... look at all these."

Markus could imagine that feeling, although probably the possibility of this broke inside him when he had to climb out of his grave scavenging for his body parts. After that he did not feel like the world had any parts which were off limits.

"Don't worry. Nobody is going to get angry about it. But maybe we should go see Carl. Shall we go upstairs?"

"Y-yes, of course."

Simon kept turning his head left and right, up and down as they walked the stairs, which felt bad to step on, as it was also painted with symbols. Another door opened, and they were faced with a giant giraffe. Sunlight painted the hall in the shades of brown, orange, yellow and red. Bookcases framed the hall, everywhere the wall was covered with them. Statues. Memories.

"What do you think?", Markus asked as Simon admired the mansion.

"I... am sorry for all these animals being dead. But otherwise, it's... it looks like the things here are so ancient. I would have liked to live when this place was put together." _And... I would kind of like to live here now,_ he said silently, so that if there was anyone listening, they could not hear, only Markus.

"Can I see Carl?", Simon asked, anxiously. He was scared of what the old man might think of him.

"Yes." Before Simon could object, Markus took him by the hand. It felt strange, among these walls. Not that Simon wanted to keep it a secret how he felt. He never liked secrets.

Before entering, Markus touched Simon's arm with his other hand and looked closely into his blue eyes. "Carl is very sick now. He might speak slowly and it might be hard to understand him."

"I... then maybe I shouldn't..."

"It won't hurt him to see us. I am just telling you so that it does not take you by surprise."

Simon nodded. He wished Carl was younger, he did not want Markus to experience his loss. And he himself wanted to get to know Carl.

The door opened and they entered the dark room.

Carl was not really sleeping. He did not move much in the last few years, so he did not get tired in that sense. He usually fell into a thoughtful slumber, when he had no one to talk to. But this state was easily broken.

Shaken out of a mix of images, he opened his eyes. It took more effort than he thought. The familiar sound of the door opening. He expected to find Aiden standing next to his bed, stating that dinner was ready, but instead he saw two figures, one of whom was very familiar.

"Markus." He hoped there was enough warmth in his voice to express what he was feeling.

Markus walked to him and held his hand, just like before. Simon watched them and grew jealous of that bond. He tried to silence this feeling. Maybe Connor had said that PL600 androids like himself had a tendency to develop extreme needs for psychological bonding when going deviant. Connor had said that one android like that got so desperate and angry when he found out he was going to get replaced, that he killed people, took a child hostage, and then...

...eventually he was killed.

Simon knew he was different, but it did not feel good to think about that.

"Hello, Carl", Simon heard Markus's voice. "Are you alright?"

"As alright as it goes. You know how I am. Cannot really do anything else now. You, on the other hand, have achieved something that is worth mentioning." Carl's gaze turned to the blond android that seemed a bit familiar. He was sure he'd seen that face on TV beside Markus's. He could have been one of his group...

"This is Simon", Markus introduced his partner, noticing his LED being yellow again.

"Hello, Sir." Simon knew his protocols. It was just strange to use them again. The last time he had talked to a human was... with his family.

Though they were not his family anymore.

"Hello. I am sure I have seen you but I did not remember your name, I am sorry."

"That... is not a problem."

Carl's speech was indeed slow, but Simon did not care. He was seeing the human that partly made Markus who he was!

"Simon is part of my team. Or rather I am a part of their team. They were the first, I just arrived there." Markus walked back to Simon and held his hand, not caring about the strong waves of resistance Simon radiated.

_"Stop being afraid."_

_"I am not AFRAID, Markus, it's just... I don't exactly know what to do."_

_"Because you are a Deviant."_

_"You don't say..."_

All Carl saw was their LED's flickering and Simon's eyes rolling, while Markus's gaze was fixed on SImon's face.

"I don't know what you are doing, but if it's anything to share with me, then don't be afraid."

Simon just wanted to disappear.

"I-I am sorry. It is nothing. I... I am delighted to meet you." He finally found his voice. He threw a meaningful glance towards Markus who was trying to suppress his smile. "Markus told me a lot about you."

"I hope only good things", the old man smiled at him.

A human. Smiled at him. Simon's LED turned green. It could only do so with Deviants, and was a signal of extremely positive emotional state.

"They were good things. I know that you helped him a lot to become what he is."

"That was not me, nah... That was the one who created him and himself. Mostly himself I think."

"You flatter me, Carl', Markus said in a modest, low voice.

"You have changed the world, Markus. Make sure it stays a good place even after I'm gone."

_I don't want that._

Markus knew Carl saw the pain rushing through his face.

"I will. I promise." A question arose in his mind. "Carl, how- how long-" He did not know how to finish politely, but Carl understood.

"How long do I have? Well. My doctor says, maybe six to eight months. He said the same a year ago, so now I cannot really now. Aiden takes good care of me, I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I must tell you I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. I... can stay here if you like."

Carl slowly shook his head. "You have more important things to do now. You go build the future. I do not need much, as long as I have food and my paintings. Oh. Speaking of paintings, have you shown the studio to young Simon yet?"

Simon's eyes lit up and Markus met his curious but accusing gaze.

"Not yet", Markus smiled. "He was... eager to meet you and I wanted to leave it to the end."

Simon opened his mouth to protest, but after all... Markus was right.

"Well then, go on, explore. The place is yours."

Just what Simon wanted to hear.

Although...

"Sir, I can... I can also stay here with you if you like. I do not have such obligations as Markus and I would be really glad to help."

_And I would like to see what he has seen._

"Well. If you are certain. Aiden wouldn't mind, for sure. Have you met him?"

"Yes."

Simon's future was hereby determined. At least for a few months. This human did not have long to live, but he was kind and he held so much information that he couldn't pass on. Simon wanted to learn from him, and wanted to give him something back as long as he could.

He would exist for a long time afterwards. Carl had little time left. He deserved to be happy for that time.

"Alright. If you do not need anything, I will show Simon the paintings."

"Hey, hey! Take me with you. I want to see the look on his face", Carl smiled.

Simon's previous family did not really care about art. Simple drawings, photos could be found in their home, but nothing like Carl's paintings. Blurred colours, shapes, mainly hands and faces. They resembled something from reality, but they hid it as well.

And then there was the painting with the face that Simon immedately recognized.

"That is you", he turned to Markus, then back to the painting. A distorted, sad, angry, uncertain face, but Markus' nevertheless, surrounded by red paint.

Markus was not proud of it now. He did not feel like those emotions that the picture conveyed were in place right now.

"Yes. A day before I... got damaged, Carl told me to try to make a painting."

He still remembered the feeling of drifting away, his hands moving and slowly but surely recreating the ever-changing something in his mind.

_He knew it didn't have to be good. Beautiful. Perfect. The topic was not given. The instruction he received was to just let it happen. He did not know how to do it. He always wanted to understand art but he thought he would fail at this point._

_After the first colours appeared on the canvas, his doubts flew away. Carl just watched him, silently, not saying a word. His patient presence was almost lost to the excitement of creating something new. Markus felt guilty when he finished the painting. He felt as if he betrayed Carl. Red, it showed aggression, and he was not sure whom he felt anger against._

Later on, he found out. But he could calm that anger, and now the painting did not feel relevant.

"Oh... you made this?" Simon was surprised. "That's... wonderful."

"I do not identify with it anymore", Markus said, wondering at his own expression on the canvas. He knew so little back then.

But then he got the idea.

"Maybe I could make another one."

He looked at Carl.

"Of course, of course! Make yourself at home. You too, young Simon. I'm sure it will be easier for you to let your creativity roam free now."

Carl started laughing after a few seconds when he saw almost the same expression on Simon's face as that of Markus's when he was faced with the same proposal.

"But... like... anything?", Simon asked.

"Anything."

That is a very wide term."

Simon was used to being told "Put this thing there. Exactly there. In order." Not... just anything.

But he decided to give it a try.

Markus had one canvas and Simon had another one. They settled that both of them will make a painting and until both are ready, they would not look at the other one's.

Carl had an unfair role. He just sat back in his chair and tried not to give away anything. Only his shoulders shook with laughter as he watched the two of them.

To think that some people didn't regard these ones as living beings... Humans could be so stupid.

Their effort trying NOT to look at each other's work was sweet. Markus was quite good at it, concentrating on his own, but Simon had to stop himself again and again.

On Markus's painting a group of similar figures could be seen. Carl figures those were the freed androids. The top of the canvas was bright blue, much like a fair, sunny sky. At the side he painted a symbol that resembled that of yin and yang, one part of it blue, the other part, red. The other details Carl could not make out, but there were lots of colours. It seemed hopeful.

Simon painted a small house first. It was situated on the left side of the canvas, in simple, dark, greyish colours. The next one was a large one, surrounded with flowery bushes, in which Carl recognised the childish image of his own mansion. Then there were the two figures. One brown skinned, with a stylish, black longcoat, the other one fair skinned, with blonde hair. They could only be seen from behind, but they were holding hands and from the junction of their hands something radiated. Something light and colourful, again.

Sweet things.

Carl was happy to have them here with him in his last days.

When they were finally finished, both of them, Simon's LED flickered very anxiously, as he stood there, confused, wanting to reach out for Markus. But Carl was there. Would it not be inappropriate?

Finally Markus closed the distance between them and pulled the blond one into a hug.

He had only hoped he'd ever feel so wholesome. But he achieved it. Finally. Carl edited the alarm system, adding to it a new person to recognize, so that whenever the blond android would enter the door, he would hear "Alarm deactivated. Welcome home, Simon."


	4. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl finally finishes his career on Earth and the androids say goodbye to him.

Markus knew this day would come.

He held Carl's hand for the very last moment. So did Simon. They could both sense his vital signs and it was a challenge to not turn away from the feeling of loss. Markus let tears roll down his face. The old man's face was calm, he knew that what he left behind would turn out good. His son was not here with him, but he did not mind... Well.... he was sad because he needed more time to get to know his son again.

"Maybe... Leo was right." It took him minutes to say it, but finally the words came out and Markus and Simon was eager to listen.

"Right about what?"

It wasn't easy to ask a dying person anything. There was no guarantee they would get an answer and it was not sure whether they should want an answer at all. maybe he did not even know what he was talking about at this point. But Markus was curious. If he had anything to know about Leo, he wanted to know it.

"That I never loved him."

Carl was weak to express sorrow. It wasn't even his most dominant emotion, but he did not feel like he had much time to say everything that he thought of. Images drifted through his mind, memories mixed, he did not know when they happened, or if they happened at all.

"That is not true, Carl. I called him, he's going to be here in a few minutes, just hold on, please. He just said that because... he was not thinking straight. Anger can make people say things like that, you know." He kept talking to Carl. he wanted to keep his attention.

"Then I will have all my sons with me."

_All your sons..._

Markus and Simon glanced at each other and strongly held on to Carl's hands.

"Tell Leo I... I loved him very much. I am sorry. Don't let him... do stupid things. Please."

"We won't." Simon said. "We promise."

But Carl could not hold on until Leo arrived.

The three androids - Aiden, Simon and Markus - just crouched in silence as they heard the fast footsteps.

The faces turned slowly to Leo as he burst in the door.

First, here was shock on his face. His hands trembled and one could have thought that the next moment he would hit or throw some of the objects in the room. But then he just lowered his shoulders and bowed his head, closing his eyes. He never seemed so weak and lost before.

Leo promised to be a better son. He swore to himself.

He thought he would finally get the opportunity, after all these years, to get closer to his father.

And now he lost him.

Why now? Why should he even _try_ to be a good person? Who for?

"For your own sake!", that"s what Markus had told him. He had to hold back so much so as not to punch that... something in the face. How dared he talk about what Leo should do...

On the other hand...

What had become of him? A pathetic drug addict. He didn't even remember what he was before.

And when he thought of his father's loss, he just wept. No one saw him, no one heard him. He just wanted his dad back.

When he heard Markus's speech at his father's funeral - he allowed him to hold one, he had no strength to fight anymore, and wasn't the best talker - he did not know what to think. Markus really seemed like he felt sorry for Carl's loss.

That thing. Carl had spent more time with it than with Leo.

He kept staring at his feet, bitterly. he could not say anything after the fiftieth "my condolences" he heard that day. He only nodded. What was he supposed to say?

He had no appetite. People around him started talking, then they started laughing and after a few hours everybody had forgotten that they were here because somebody died.

Then Leo saw Markus approach. He sighed. _What the hell does he want? It. This. Whatever._

"Hello, Leo."

Leo raised an eyebrow at him.

"I would like to apologise for pushing you. I did not mean for you to get hurt."

 _What._ He scoffed. Bringing it up now? Not like it mattered.

The hospital probably did him some good as well. He felt like a horrible person, though.

"Yeah, well, I survived", he shrugged.

"I know you are probably very angry at me. But you should not be angry with your father. He might have committed mistakes in the past, but he wanted me to tell you he loved you."

Hatred started boiling in the young man as he clenched his fists. _He told you, huh? Because who was with him in his last hours? His son? Oh, no, his little plastic pet and his boyfriend. Oh, and the plastic pet he got to replace the previous one._ He actually hated himself.

"Yeah, it's easy to say anything when you are dying."

"I know he loved you."

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?"

He needed time.

It would not be easy to come to terms with him, but Markus would not give up.

"So you can... come here anytime you like. Or go there, it's not really... my home anyways." Leo shrugges. "Oh, and you keep the paintings. You do whatever you want with them."

He resisted the temptation to make money of them. He avoided that mansion for long. He tried to get a decent job. He woke up at the same time, went to bed at the same time, he ate, he watched the TV.

And then one day he realised he needed to visit his father's place again. There might have been things to discover. Something his father wanted to tell him but couldn't.

He didn't want to listen to this childish hope for so long. But he didn't want to prolong it anymore.


	5. Last Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are cornered. There is nowhere to go. They will be shot at and their cause will die, unless...
> 
> AKA
> 
> Battle for Detroit, peaceful revolution

So many have died and Markus did not attack.

They wanted to lure him into a trap but he did not dare go.

The humans did not understand.

They were too afraid.

If they didn't do something now, they, the last remaining Deviants would die and possibly a few months later the whole thing will just be history. There might be no androids anymore. They will talk about them as a mistake, a glitch in the system, something that should be avoided. They will talk about them as faulty machines. And the solution was killing them.

He did not see so much of life. He wanted to see more. As did all the others. In all their lives, they"d just been running. To live. They deserved more.

He sensed all their thoughts, all their fear, but especially that of Simon, who was closest to him. Physically as well as emotionally. He did not know how or why this happened, but it did and he did not want to lose him. Errors in their software? Maybe. But it was _real_.

They have fought for so long.

_"Markus. I love you. I thank you for everything."_

_"What is this goodbye speech, we are not going to die. We'll think of something!"_

_"I'll go."_

The world around Markus suddenly seemed colder than before. Simon's determination was so strong it scared him. He turned his head towards him and wished that he could just make him stop with a glance...

_"No!"_

_"Yes. That's the only way. I don't mind it, it needs to be done. Maybe you'll be saved."_

Damn him and his self-sacrificial thoughts all the time.

_"I'll go Markus and they might shoot be but you will live on. And guide the next generation. Or whatever comes. I love you."_

_"You DON'T... I love you too but you will not do that."_

Simon was quick, but Markus was quicker, a unique prototype who could move much quicker than an android designned to perform household tasks, so he grabbed Simon's arm before he could take a step.

Simon closed his eyes. So it was lost, he could not keep his idea to himself and now it would all be in vain...

 _"Simon, do you trust me?",_ the quick question came.

The answer was obvious.

_"Yes... of course I trust you."_

_"Close your eyes."_

Simon obeyed in a split second. He did not care anymore. They did what they could, now the only thing he could do is trust Markus and wait for some miracle to happen.

Markus held Simon's face between his hands and touched his lips with his own. Simon partly suspected this would happen. Actually, he did not need anything more. They were together, in the end. The hope and desperation Markus felt for him and all his people screamed inside his mind. Simon felt hot teardrops on his face. Just the few of them. The last of them. So close. There was nothing else to do, maybe if they saw how much they loved each other, just the way hujmans did, somewhat differently but strongly all the same...

If they did not see it now - they never would...

Simon was not afraid anymore. Calm and content, he let his last bits of data be devoted to the feeling of affection and safety.

They kissed. They knew they couldn't do anything else, so they just... kissed.

She knew the public would probably kill her if she insisted on shooting them. Indeed, they seemed so... vulnerable. And one could not deny that the androids did almost nothing violent. They just walked the streets, again and again.

Even though they were a threat...

President Warren knew she had no choice.

"Tell them to stand down!"

The guns were lowered.

They succeeded.

A new life began.

Blue and green eyes opened up to the world, admiring it as if it was the first time.

Indeed it was. Finally they were free.


End file.
